I saw

I get frustrated with myself alot. I know most people probably do. I not only get frustrated at myself but then I get annoyed at that taking over all my thoughts.
But the most recent self absorbed thought was this:
I am not a quite person. I know this. But I have recently got annoyed at myself for not talking sometimes. I will talk at all the easy times and then when it is time to engage a person, issue, event, etc. I decide that my ideas, opinions aren't worth mentioning.
Do I really struggle with this much of a lack of confidence?

I have the song I saw by Matt Nathanson in my head.
The chorus keeps going through my head...

And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up, again
Cuz I would be heavenly
if baby you'd just rescue me, now

I have substituted the last line. Baby if you'd come to me now. . .

I think God looks at me every day and has these thoughts. I feel like I get right to the edge of surrender or opening up completely and then I turn. . . and do what?

I don't know.
I really had sat down to write this blog on a totally different topic...guess that'll have to wait.