BEAUTY IN THE BROKEN. Fill me up, pour me out

Ok, so I know I haven't posted in a really long time. But now it just seems right to start writing again. I can't even explain everything that is going on in my heart and my head right now. In my faith, reason and justice class last week a guest speaker came in and talked about post-modernism. I can't really explain it hear through the keyboard because I'm still exploring it in my heart but I felt set free to just be in love with Jesus. The speaker was talking about how postmodernity was seeking authenticity, the incomparable truth, acknowledging that we are mere human and can't even start to understand....we are just called into this amazing love story, just to sit and wonder and act ...in the presence of an AWESOME GOD!

So, that's going through my head....

I mean, I've been thinking alot of starting back blogging....but last night really was the turning point. This was a story that I had to write about.

Some friends and I on campus have started a little bible study on sunday nights. Its not really organized. Just whoever shows up at 9pm in the chapel are welcome. We share whats on our hearts, prayer request, testimonies and read through a couple verses...Last night we read Galatians 1.

"Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant." Gal 1:10

(ok, I know there is so much more in this chapter than this...but this verse stuck out in bible study and was kinda the theme for the night)

We prayed and everyone from bible study went to worship (campus wide sunday nights 10pm worship...amazing time) I sat outside some and talked to Abby (sister). I got off the phone and I had tears running down my face. I miss her so much....and yet God is showing me how beautiful it is to be broken and how wonderful it is to be desiring. How I dont have a clue what is going on in life..but He is weaving this amazing story together. One of my girlfriends left worship early and saw me...she came over...we both started crying. there is something about bringing two girls together...

She is in the same place I was spiritually that I was this Spring...KNOWING God with your head, but WANTING to FEEL Him in your heart SO badly! She was crying. She was broken. And that's so beautiful. We dont have to have everything figured out. She has an amazing desire. How glorious is that picture? How often do we get to be or allow ourselves to be broken before God?

We talked, prayed, and held each other for a while...I walked out with a good friend. She was struggling with her family and transitions and things that were happening there. Just the real-ness and the authenticity in her emotions and in her heart...that we can be that OPEN before God.

Another friend texted me when I got back to my dorm. We talked about relationships. How badly we wanted to do what was right. The confusion and commitment that comes with friendships. We talked about the desire to be known. ...

I know that this was an awful attempt at a blog. but i'm out of practice...

Last night was just a huge blessing...

For now, and where I'd always like to be

...beautiful in the broken...

Before Him,

chelsea